Well here we are.

Well we made it to Utah in one piece! We ended up spending way more money then we would have hoped seeing as Thomas doing as well as he did just couldn't handle 24 hour driving so we only went about 400 miles a day, but still it was a lot of driving with all the stops to feed him and change him. It is fun to see the family that we haven't seen for so long. The first night here Mandy feel down the 3 steps into the garage and managed to break her foot! Leave it to her! LOL! So she is not aloud on it at all if she doesn't want to end up with surgery on it, and Elizabeth is currently having horrible contractions daily and is supposed to take it easy and keep her feet up so I am trying to help out and at the same time find an apartment get my husband ready for school and take care of Thomas, oh and try to help Matt. So much for there being less drama in Utah! 

But Mandy found Matt a place and a job and so now we just have to be his family and friends wheel he trys to find his way again. Lets all just pray that this time he can pull it off. I was talking to Ben about why he does this to himself and what we are suppose to do to help him, and he said that all we can do is love him and help him when he needs us but not to forget who we are helping and that unless he is ready there is nothing we can do. This is so hard for me because I have always felt that I was "in charge" of them and was able to say "Matt you have to do this then this then this and you can't do that or that." Like I was so used to doing when we were younger. I hate seeing him so sad and confused. I know that he would be so much happier if he would just do the things I tell him to. And I then I think of how the Lord must feel watching us down here and hurting thinking,  All you have to do is do what I say and you will be happy.  And having to watch us screw up again and again. It must break his heart. So I know no matter how many times Matt screws up and spits in my face I will always love him and help him when he os ready for it. I pray for the love to never turn my back on him for he is my brother and always will be no matter what.