Monday, February 8, 2010

My own kind of "skinny"

I have always been chubby alright a little more then chubby as I hit puberty, but still I prefer the word chubby. I think it sounds...... cutter. But when I hit 24 and had no social life or hint of one I decided that I needed to do something about that for me and get healthier for me.
So with the support of my family and especially my sister Amy, I went on a diet. Oh but not just any diet a liquid diet were I only got 800 calories a day! But I would see results and quick so I did it. I have to say it was miserable. I hated every minute of it. I hated the taste of the shakes and even now the thought of them makes me cringe. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions and would cry and cry. All I wanted was some sugar! Who knew you could be so addicted to food? Not me, but I was I was like a drug addict almost begging for just a cracker. I stayed in bed the whole first week.
But I stayed on it. I did it for 3 whole months nothing passed my lips that wasn't water, my shake, or for a treat diet Dr. Pepper. I lost 80 lbs! I felt wonderful, I felt strong and pretty and capable for the first time in my life and I still weight over 200 lbs. But the number no longer bothered me in fact I was happy with that number. I fit into a size 16 and was even able to buy a few things at The Gap! Oh happy day.
Then I meet the man I was going to marry, and the weight stopped weighting on my mind, my portion sizes got all out of control again. Here was a man that loved me and he didn't care about my size. In fact that man loved (and still does love) feeding me. He is a wonderful cook, and loves to treat me to dinners out and does not like to forget about the dessert. And so Here I am almost 5 years latter right back to were I started. And after 2 babies in 2 years I have exceed that maximum weight.

But last month as I looked and my perfect 1 month old baby girl I realized I wasn't happy with my weight anymore. I wasn't happy being tiered and not wanting to play with my 2 year old on the floor. My labor was 23 hours and why, I hate to admit in but it was my weight. I want more babies but I want to get rid of some of this weight first. I don't want my babies to grow up with a mom that can play with them or worries about fitting on the rides at Disneyland. I want to enjoy their childhood with them.

No I will never be the skinniest mom on the block but I will be my kind of skinny. I will love my body, I will feel pretty, and strong. That is my goal and one that I will achieve. I have even started already with my mom, and 3 of my sisters. It has been 4 weeks and I am already down 14.6 lbs! Yea Me!

My Fridge.

And me when I was "skinny".

6 comments:

Amy said...

Oh. My. Goodness. We look SOO good! That's my goal too. I worked out tonight for 2 and a half hours. I feel great. I just ate a taco salad (minus the shell) and it was so YUMMY. I think I'm going to actually do it this time around!

Slowly. But surely.

Good luck to us!! LOVE YOU! Wish you were here and we could be doing this together!!!

Amy said...

Thank you for posting this picture. WAAAAY inspiring!

Amy said...

K. I think I'm going to hang out on your blog for a while. And just look at me when i was skinny too. I'm vain like that.

Blog Buddy said...

I can so relate cousin! My blood pressure has never been so out of control. Now that I'm not working, I can concentrate on losing weight again. Hang in there-your my inspiration!

ldsfamofak said...

love love love your post. Mrs. Love
you are doing great and I am so proud of you

Paxton said...

Good for you cabbage patch kid! Mom is still hanging in there too. I'm proud of all you girls.
Dad

6mo

6mo

10 weeks.

10 weeks.

7 weeks.

7 weeks.

6 weeks

6 weeks

4 weeks old

4 weeks old

3 weeks old

3 weeks old
Thomas and Bumkin

2 days old

2 days old
Thomas with Bumkin.

Blessing.

Blessing.
What more do you want I was up all night!