Monday, February 8, 2010
My own kind of "skinny"
I have always been chubby alright a little more then chubby as I hit puberty, but still I prefer the word chubby. I think it sounds...... cutter. But when I hit 24 and had no social life or hint of one I decided that I needed to do something about that for me and get healthier for me.
So with the support of my family and especially my sister Amy, I went on a diet. Oh but not just any diet a liquid diet were I only got 800 calories a day! But I would see results and quick so I did it. I have to say it was miserable. I hated every minute of it. I hated the taste of the shakes and even now the thought of them makes me cringe. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions and would cry and cry. All I wanted was some sugar! Who knew you could be so addicted to food? Not me, but I was I was like a drug addict almost begging for just a cracker. I stayed in bed the whole first week.
But I stayed on it. I did it for 3 whole months nothing passed my lips that wasn't water, my shake, or for a treat diet Dr. Pepper. I lost 80 lbs! I felt wonderful, I felt strong and pretty and capable for the first time in my life and I still weight over 200 lbs. But the number no longer bothered me in fact I was happy with that number. I fit into a size 16 and was even able to buy a few things at The Gap! Oh happy day.
Then I meet the man I was going to marry, and the weight stopped weighting on my mind, my portion sizes got all out of control again. Here was a man that loved me and he didn't care about my size. In fact that man loved (and still does love) feeding me. He is a wonderful cook, and loves to treat me to dinners out and does not like to forget about the dessert. And so Here I am almost 5 years latter right back to were I started. And after 2 babies in 2 years I have exceed that maximum weight.
But last month as I looked and my perfect 1 month old baby girl I realized I wasn't happy with my weight anymore. I wasn't happy being tiered and not wanting to play with my 2 year old on the floor. My labor was 23 hours and why, I hate to admit in but it was my weight. I want more babies but I want to get rid of some of this weight first. I don't want my babies to grow up with a mom that can play with them or worries about fitting on the rides at Disneyland. I want to enjoy their childhood with them.
No I will never be the skinniest mom on the block but I will be my kind of skinny. I will love my body, I will feel pretty, and strong. That is my goal and one that I will achieve. I have even started already with my mom, and 3 of my sisters. It has been 4 weeks and I am already down 14.6 lbs! Yea Me!
And me when I was "skinny".
Posted by Ben and Megan at 6:07 PM
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